Dear Journal -
The other day I came on my blog and vented to the world how someone had turned me down, how he was a frog http://jazzy-jazzysjournal.blogspot.com/2013/01/this-is-what-happens-to-me-for-kissing.html how this and how that and then this morning on my way to work I had a revelation! I was thinking of how ever since I met the person I wrote about he was probably honest in the way he felt and I just chose to believe what I wanted to believe because I couldn't accept anything different. I mean shouldn't our word be our bond? like I don't know that I would tell someone something if I didn't mean it. So after I decided that I was doing everything I do, for me not for that person, I decided that I was ok with everything, and that it was cool and that I was going to keep it moving but knowing in the process that I will continue to believe what people tell me because I hope that I am a good judge of character and that the people I let into my life in a certain capacity are not out to hurt me at least not intentionally. I felt good!
Yesterday I kept dancing and singing the James Brown song (I feel good) to all my co-workers! they all kept telling me that I was crazy! DUH! why don't these people know this about me already???? anyway, I was in a really good mood feeling really happy and I kept thinking to myself.... I know I am going to be crying later because I am just way TOO HAPPY! well, I can always predict stuff let me tell you! because maybe I didn't cry yesterday, but today! OH MY GAWD!
So I changed my Facebook page to a public page and therefore I am no longer obligated to actually chat with men on dating sites. I have been on dating sites all of these years, partially because I want to get people to follow my blog and I never knew how to go about asking men to be my friends on Facebook without offending them and letting them know that I wasn't looking for anything. In the like nearly five years that I have been on dating sites, I met but one person that I truly truly began to care for, my AJ http://jazzy-jazzysjournal.blogspot.com/2012/06/f-trust-issues.html and so other than him, everyone else that I have met that I have actually met in person, nothing never came out of it and although some of these fine gentlemen have become really great friends, I can't say that online dating has brought me luck in the love arena, but that is partially because I am not really looking for love, so I just talk to people and every now and then I will meet someone if they pick my interest, but that is hardly ever. Anyway, I always do encourage women looking for love to seriously consider online dating because I have met so many good really good men online and sometimes I am like wow! there are some really good ones out there, but that is just not what I want now. So, if you are one of those fine gentlemen that I lured to my blog by meeting you on a dating site, please forgive me if I misled you in any way shape or form as I always try to be honest and genuine about my intentions.
But back to me crying, I don't even know how I got sidetracked! me and my tangents! shaking my head! ok, so I changed my Facebook page and lost all my friends because I can't see what they post as my page is now a public page so I don't befriend people, rather people just like it and that is where I will be posting my blog, but with that I also realized that I can no longer search and the biggest thing was, that I could no longer go onto Benjamin's page remember him? http://jazzy-jazzysjournal.blogspot.com/2010/12/omg-my-first-blog-entry.html so anyway, I figured I would take over my youngest sons Facebook page and make it my own and friend my real live friends that I actually know and make it a personal page where I can actually share pictures of my friends and children with my real friends etc. but I also wanted another page so I could continue to be able to read Benjamin's posts (his page is public) so I go on it today and he posts something about (his old lady) aka his girlfriend and then I read the comments and who comments on the feed but non other than.... HIS GIRLFRIEND! finally! after over a year that he has mentioned girlfriend, this woman the almost ghost graced his page with her presence and that is when I broke down in tears!!!!
I KNEW IT! I knew all that singing and dancing was going to end up bad! after I cried and felt sorry for myself because that woman had the man I loved for so long, I couldn't help but to be a woman and investigate who this witch that "stole my man" (we never even kissed) was, so I clicked buttons left and right and found out a little about her and realized three very important things. 1. I'm cuter! (or maybe not depending on who you ask) 2. How sad is it that it only takes a few clicks to find out a bunch of stuff about someone and 3. I am really over him (love wise) and I was really happy for him because It seems that she is a good catch! although Jazzy was naturally sad (I loved him so long) Jazzy also loves her Benjamin (as a friend) and always and forever wants him to be EXTREMELY HAPPY! I am not sure exactly why I cried, but I felt deeply sad and maybe a little jealous that, that woman kisses the man that I loved for so long and never had the chance to share not even a kiss with (she's soooooo lucky!). After I cried and wiped away my tears, I felt much better and told a friend of mine what I had just found out and since she knows what he has meant to me, she just looked at me and said she was sorry to hear that I had to find that out and I told her that I knew it was bound to happen! (me actually like seeing her pic or finding out who she was somehow) but what can I do? that is life and it happens and I won't stop reading because he is my friend in my heart always will be and one day, when I write my book I will tell the world why he changed my life forever!
If you are a man and you come across this post, I want you to learn one and one thing only! we women are private investigators when we want to be! in a matter of seconds I knew all I needed to know about this person and it really disturbs me that it is that easy! lucky I have no bad intentions nor would I ever do anything to anyone to hurt them, nor would I say anything to the young lady or him or whatever, but, it's kind of scary that someone can find someone's stuff like that although we kind of know that by having pages or this blog for instance that I'm kind of putting myself out there on the street as the saying goes, still, it's weird! although now that I think about it, this one guy that I was briefly seeing his "girlfriend" (she wasn't really his girlfriend only in her mind) she found me the same way and was like, WHY ARE YOU WITH MY MAN??? but that is a whole other post!!! WOMEN!
STAY TUNNED!
oh and by the way, I am now sitting in my kitchen writing this and I am feeling good! I feel like I am in a really good place now, I think I am feeling like this because I have been changing my diet/eating habits and because I have been keeping up with my running and it just feels.....AMAZING!
oh one last thing, if you enjoyed this post, please share it with a female friend! I really really want more female followers! THANK YOU!
ok... I will now leave you with James.....
I feel good ~ James Brown
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DuDeBcpLITQ
The other day I came on my blog and vented to the world how someone had turned me down, how he was a frog http://jazzy-jazzysjournal.blogspot.com/2013/01/this-is-what-happens-to-me-for-kissing.html how this and how that and then this morning on my way to work I had a revelation! I was thinking of how ever since I met the person I wrote about he was probably honest in the way he felt and I just chose to believe what I wanted to believe because I couldn't accept anything different. I mean shouldn't our word be our bond? like I don't know that I would tell someone something if I didn't mean it. So after I decided that I was doing everything I do, for me not for that person, I decided that I was ok with everything, and that it was cool and that I was going to keep it moving but knowing in the process that I will continue to believe what people tell me because I hope that I am a good judge of character and that the people I let into my life in a certain capacity are not out to hurt me at least not intentionally. I felt good!
Yesterday I kept dancing and singing the James Brown song (I feel good) to all my co-workers! they all kept telling me that I was crazy! DUH! why don't these people know this about me already???? anyway, I was in a really good mood feeling really happy and I kept thinking to myself.... I know I am going to be crying later because I am just way TOO HAPPY! well, I can always predict stuff let me tell you! because maybe I didn't cry yesterday, but today! OH MY GAWD!
So I changed my Facebook page to a public page and therefore I am no longer obligated to actually chat with men on dating sites. I have been on dating sites all of these years, partially because I want to get people to follow my blog and I never knew how to go about asking men to be my friends on Facebook without offending them and letting them know that I wasn't looking for anything. In the like nearly five years that I have been on dating sites, I met but one person that I truly truly began to care for, my AJ http://jazzy-jazzysjournal.blogspot.com/2012/06/f-trust-issues.html and so other than him, everyone else that I have met that I have actually met in person, nothing never came out of it and although some of these fine gentlemen have become really great friends, I can't say that online dating has brought me luck in the love arena, but that is partially because I am not really looking for love, so I just talk to people and every now and then I will meet someone if they pick my interest, but that is hardly ever. Anyway, I always do encourage women looking for love to seriously consider online dating because I have met so many good really good men online and sometimes I am like wow! there are some really good ones out there, but that is just not what I want now. So, if you are one of those fine gentlemen that I lured to my blog by meeting you on a dating site, please forgive me if I misled you in any way shape or form as I always try to be honest and genuine about my intentions.
But back to me crying, I don't even know how I got sidetracked! me and my tangents! shaking my head! ok, so I changed my Facebook page and lost all my friends because I can't see what they post as my page is now a public page so I don't befriend people, rather people just like it and that is where I will be posting my blog, but with that I also realized that I can no longer search and the biggest thing was, that I could no longer go onto Benjamin's page remember him? http://jazzy-jazzysjournal.blogspot.com/2010/12/omg-my-first-blog-entry.html so anyway, I figured I would take over my youngest sons Facebook page and make it my own and friend my real live friends that I actually know and make it a personal page where I can actually share pictures of my friends and children with my real friends etc. but I also wanted another page so I could continue to be able to read Benjamin's posts (his page is public) so I go on it today and he posts something about (his old lady) aka his girlfriend and then I read the comments and who comments on the feed but non other than.... HIS GIRLFRIEND! finally! after over a year that he has mentioned girlfriend, this woman the almost ghost graced his page with her presence and that is when I broke down in tears!!!!
I KNEW IT! I knew all that singing and dancing was going to end up bad! after I cried and felt sorry for myself because that woman had the man I loved for so long, I couldn't help but to be a woman and investigate who this witch that "stole my man" (we never even kissed) was, so I clicked buttons left and right and found out a little about her and realized three very important things. 1. I'm cuter! (or maybe not depending on who you ask) 2. How sad is it that it only takes a few clicks to find out a bunch of stuff about someone and 3. I am really over him (love wise) and I was really happy for him because It seems that she is a good catch! although Jazzy was naturally sad (I loved him so long) Jazzy also loves her Benjamin (as a friend) and always and forever wants him to be EXTREMELY HAPPY! I am not sure exactly why I cried, but I felt deeply sad and maybe a little jealous that, that woman kisses the man that I loved for so long and never had the chance to share not even a kiss with (she's soooooo lucky!). After I cried and wiped away my tears, I felt much better and told a friend of mine what I had just found out and since she knows what he has meant to me, she just looked at me and said she was sorry to hear that I had to find that out and I told her that I knew it was bound to happen! (me actually like seeing her pic or finding out who she was somehow) but what can I do? that is life and it happens and I won't stop reading because he is my friend in my heart always will be and one day, when I write my book I will tell the world why he changed my life forever!
If you are a man and you come across this post, I want you to learn one and one thing only! we women are private investigators when we want to be! in a matter of seconds I knew all I needed to know about this person and it really disturbs me that it is that easy! lucky I have no bad intentions nor would I ever do anything to anyone to hurt them, nor would I say anything to the young lady or him or whatever, but, it's kind of scary that someone can find someone's stuff like that although we kind of know that by having pages or this blog for instance that I'm kind of putting myself out there on the street as the saying goes, still, it's weird! although now that I think about it, this one guy that I was briefly seeing his "girlfriend" (she wasn't really his girlfriend only in her mind) she found me the same way and was like, WHY ARE YOU WITH MY MAN??? but that is a whole other post!!! WOMEN!
STAY TUNNED!
oh and by the way, I am now sitting in my kitchen writing this and I am feeling good! I feel like I am in a really good place now, I think I am feeling like this because I have been changing my diet/eating habits and because I have been keeping up with my running and it just feels.....AMAZING!
oh one last thing, if you enjoyed this post, please share it with a female friend! I really really want more female followers! THANK YOU!
ok... I will now leave you with James.....
I feel good ~ James Brown
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DuDeBcpLITQ
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