We stood there discussing the fact that he would not like to go with me to my class, and then he suggested that we think of a different "activity" we could do. I am not quite sure if he was just being polite by this comment he was making or if he was just suggesting it to add something to the conversation, or if he really did want to find another activity that we could do together (fingers crossed) but, no matter what his reasoning for saying that was, my mind immediately took off and as the words "we can all go have drinks sometime" were coming out of my mouth, the following thoughts were going on in my mind.
Before I tell you my thoughts, I wish to let you know, that I want to create my blog as a PG 13 blog, so I will not divulge in detail the first image that came into my mind when I heard the word ("activity") but I will say this, the image was definitely NOT PG13 in nature, and it involved a hell of a lot of kissing, touching and sweating! I hope I didn't blush in front of him while I was having this initial thought, but I do remember feeling really nervous and being extremely careful as to not show how excited I was that he was suggesting something like this.
I usually try my very hardest not to over analyze what men mean with what they are saying to me, especially when they aren't being exactly clear or specific as to what they want from me (and I am talking about men I am interested in). I try not to analyze it, because everyone is different and I don't like to jump to conclusions. It has been my experience thus far, that people like to play these silly games and therefore we all go around playing them, because for the most part, we are all just afraid to be honest with our thoughts and feelings. We constantly keep things inside. So, I never analyze anything anymore, I just listen to what they say to me and take it for what it is. In reality, if someone really wants to hang out with me, they will ask me to. Although I do have to say that there are certain circumstances that are a bit tricky.
Now back to my racing thoughts. So after that initial rated R thought subsided, my imagination continued to run wild...I imagined us on a flight to a tropical get away, both of us in comfortable cloths looking forward to some sun and warm weather. I did not imagine any one specific island; but we were definitely in a tropical island with lots of palm trees and beautiful beaches, I imagined him and I laughing and having drinks, us both feeling a sense of peace and pure joy.
A second later, I was with him at a ski resort, bundled up in warm coats and scarfs and gloves. Him laughing at the fact that I didn't know how to ski and me concurring. Us having warm drinks and cuddling up close to a warm burning fire. just lovely!
All this went crossing my thoughts in a matter of seconds, and I smiled with delight. I don't know if I will ever actual be able to tell him what my ideas where that day. I felt the need to put it on my journal and share it with the world, because those wonderful thoughts were just to good to keep to myself, they brought a smile to my face and joy to my heart. He is so awesome, I wonder if he knows how much so. I bet he doesn't.
Imagination in my opinion, is one of the most amazing gifts we have as humans. When I was younger I would think that these types of thoughts were silly and stupid dreams. And that day, after I thought about it and couldn't believe that I would actually enjoy these types of activities with him (these thoughts don't go on in my mind for just any person) I decided that there was nothing wrong with letting my imagination run wild and that moving forward, I intend to fully experience in my mind any such thoughts and not feel bad about it, or think it's crazy or a dream. What's wrong with having thoughts that bring smiles to my lips and joy to my heart?
When I think of all the fictional books I read, movies I watch, music I listen to, I realize that those things are a product of someones imagination coming alive. Therefore, why should I feel guilty or not embrace my thoughts and be happy that I can have them. This means that I am alive! there's no thought in my opinion (as long as its not an evil thought or thought of hurting someone) not good enough to embrace accept and be happy that I can atleast have it!
So, I don't know if he ever has or will ever read this, but this blog post is yet another one about you, my crush, the guy who makes my imagination run wild with many PG13 and lots of rated R thoughts!
Before I tell you my thoughts, I wish to let you know, that I want to create my blog as a PG 13 blog, so I will not divulge in detail the first image that came into my mind when I heard the word ("activity") but I will say this, the image was definitely NOT PG13 in nature, and it involved a hell of a lot of kissing, touching and sweating! I hope I didn't blush in front of him while I was having this initial thought, but I do remember feeling really nervous and being extremely careful as to not show how excited I was that he was suggesting something like this.
I usually try my very hardest not to over analyze what men mean with what they are saying to me, especially when they aren't being exactly clear or specific as to what they want from me (and I am talking about men I am interested in). I try not to analyze it, because everyone is different and I don't like to jump to conclusions. It has been my experience thus far, that people like to play these silly games and therefore we all go around playing them, because for the most part, we are all just afraid to be honest with our thoughts and feelings. We constantly keep things inside. So, I never analyze anything anymore, I just listen to what they say to me and take it for what it is. In reality, if someone really wants to hang out with me, they will ask me to. Although I do have to say that there are certain circumstances that are a bit tricky.
Now back to my racing thoughts. So after that initial rated R thought subsided, my imagination continued to run wild...I imagined us on a flight to a tropical get away, both of us in comfortable cloths looking forward to some sun and warm weather. I did not imagine any one specific island; but we were definitely in a tropical island with lots of palm trees and beautiful beaches, I imagined him and I laughing and having drinks, us both feeling a sense of peace and pure joy.
A second later, I was with him at a ski resort, bundled up in warm coats and scarfs and gloves. Him laughing at the fact that I didn't know how to ski and me concurring. Us having warm drinks and cuddling up close to a warm burning fire. just lovely!
All this went crossing my thoughts in a matter of seconds, and I smiled with delight. I don't know if I will ever actual be able to tell him what my ideas where that day. I felt the need to put it on my journal and share it with the world, because those wonderful thoughts were just to good to keep to myself, they brought a smile to my face and joy to my heart. He is so awesome, I wonder if he knows how much so. I bet he doesn't.
Imagination in my opinion, is one of the most amazing gifts we have as humans. When I was younger I would think that these types of thoughts were silly and stupid dreams. And that day, after I thought about it and couldn't believe that I would actually enjoy these types of activities with him (these thoughts don't go on in my mind for just any person) I decided that there was nothing wrong with letting my imagination run wild and that moving forward, I intend to fully experience in my mind any such thoughts and not feel bad about it, or think it's crazy or a dream. What's wrong with having thoughts that bring smiles to my lips and joy to my heart?
When I think of all the fictional books I read, movies I watch, music I listen to, I realize that those things are a product of someones imagination coming alive. Therefore, why should I feel guilty or not embrace my thoughts and be happy that I can have them. This means that I am alive! there's no thought in my opinion (as long as its not an evil thought or thought of hurting someone) not good enough to embrace accept and be happy that I can atleast have it!
So, I don't know if he ever has or will ever read this, but this blog post is yet another one about you, my crush, the guy who makes my imagination run wild with many PG13 and lots of rated R thoughts!
No comments:
Post a Comment