Dear Journal:
I wrote this on my way home from class today. I was sitting on the train thinking about how handsome and absolutely cool my Geology professor is and then I thought about my day and the nerve of that man!
I happened to bump into the man I once had secret conversations with http://jazzy-jazzysjournal.blogspot.com/2011/06/secret-conversations.html. Of course, this could not have happened on one of the most emotionally draining days ever. Today after my earlier blog post http://jazzy-jazzysjournal.blogspot.com/2011/09/story-of-benjamin-nunez.html that left me very depressed and agitated.
I bumped into him and I had to cross words with this individual who has treated me less then kind. Did he really think that by giving me his undivided attention I would seriously stand there and chit chat? I believe he did. Poor man, doesn't he know that the old Jazzy he once had the pleasure of knowing is dead and that all that is left is this bitch that just doesn't care?
I walked away thinking, you know you messed up don't you? You realized it and now you don't know how to make it better. You just don't know what to do! Journal, If people only understood that all I ever want is for them to acknowledge their wrong doing and simply say I'm sorry, then I would have not acted like the heartless bitch that stood before him. Simply saying I'm sorry, is all it would take. Acknowledge that you didn't treat me kind and say I'm sorry. I never understand why that is so difficult for people, I really don't. Instead of him getting the old nice Jazzy, he saw this other woman that he himself created slowly with his behavior towards me.
Don't give me your undivided attention and pretend that you haven't treated me less then kind. And expect me to act as if nothing happened. I was there when we had those conversations, I know what happened. Your kindness got the beautiful human being that I try to be every single struggling day of my life. Your unkindness, gets no reaction. I am but a robot without emotion, someone who does not know you.
Thank you though, I thought to myself after. Thank you for thinking that it's so easy to treat me unkind and get the best of me anyway. Thank you for thinking I am that weak and stupid. You obviously have mistaken my kindness for weakness like many others have. That good sir, will not be the case in this circumstance. I learn everyday, and I won't be falling in the same hole twice in my life, I might be slow, but I'm not stupid.
Live and learn Jazzy, live and learn!
Ps. Journal, instead of getting off the train at my station, I got off one station later and went to see my wonderful Albanian friend whom I love! I told her about my day and she gave me a big hug and told me she loved me and just like that, everything became better. Then, I walked into my house and my daughter ran so fast to hug and kiss me, that all the sadness and all the stress that I went through today, just simply disappeared. I then thought, God, thank you, because this is what life is all about! THE LOVE OF THOSE WHO TRULY LOVE US..........
LIFE IS GOOD!
GOOD NIGHT JOURNAL........
Good Life - One Republic
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jZhQOvvV45w&ob=av2e
I wrote this on my way home from class today. I was sitting on the train thinking about how handsome and absolutely cool my Geology professor is and then I thought about my day and the nerve of that man!
I happened to bump into the man I once had secret conversations with http://jazzy-jazzysjournal.blogspot.com/2011/06/secret-conversations.html. Of course, this could not have happened on one of the most emotionally draining days ever. Today after my earlier blog post http://jazzy-jazzysjournal.blogspot.com/2011/09/story-of-benjamin-nunez.html that left me very depressed and agitated.
I bumped into him and I had to cross words with this individual who has treated me less then kind. Did he really think that by giving me his undivided attention I would seriously stand there and chit chat? I believe he did. Poor man, doesn't he know that the old Jazzy he once had the pleasure of knowing is dead and that all that is left is this bitch that just doesn't care?
I walked away thinking, you know you messed up don't you? You realized it and now you don't know how to make it better. You just don't know what to do! Journal, If people only understood that all I ever want is for them to acknowledge their wrong doing and simply say I'm sorry, then I would have not acted like the heartless bitch that stood before him. Simply saying I'm sorry, is all it would take. Acknowledge that you didn't treat me kind and say I'm sorry. I never understand why that is so difficult for people, I really don't. Instead of him getting the old nice Jazzy, he saw this other woman that he himself created slowly with his behavior towards me.
Don't give me your undivided attention and pretend that you haven't treated me less then kind. And expect me to act as if nothing happened. I was there when we had those conversations, I know what happened. Your kindness got the beautiful human being that I try to be every single struggling day of my life. Your unkindness, gets no reaction. I am but a robot without emotion, someone who does not know you.
Thank you though, I thought to myself after. Thank you for thinking that it's so easy to treat me unkind and get the best of me anyway. Thank you for thinking I am that weak and stupid. You obviously have mistaken my kindness for weakness like many others have. That good sir, will not be the case in this circumstance. I learn everyday, and I won't be falling in the same hole twice in my life, I might be slow, but I'm not stupid.
Live and learn Jazzy, live and learn!
Ps. Journal, instead of getting off the train at my station, I got off one station later and went to see my wonderful Albanian friend whom I love! I told her about my day and she gave me a big hug and told me she loved me and just like that, everything became better. Then, I walked into my house and my daughter ran so fast to hug and kiss me, that all the sadness and all the stress that I went through today, just simply disappeared. I then thought, God, thank you, because this is what life is all about! THE LOVE OF THOSE WHO TRULY LOVE US..........
LIFE IS GOOD!
GOOD NIGHT JOURNAL........
Good Life - One Republic
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jZhQOvvV45w&ob=av2e
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