Dear Journal:
Sometimes I honestly don't know what people's problem with me is, or rather, I don't know what is the problem men have with me, but I quite honestly completely give up on people (men) they are crazy and out of control and don't know what they want and when you tell them what you want all of a sudden they get psycho! I CAN'T DEAL! can someone please tell me why I got cursed out and told off a few weeks ago and all I ever am is honest? yes and I quote...."you are nothing but a fake bitch that likes to use people and treat them like shit, you are heartless and fake!" end of quote he walks away and I stand there feeling like I just had a "relationship argument" with someone I had nothing at all with! WHAT THE FUCK!!!! I hate all men effective immediately!
To top that off, last night I went out to this small club and I realized something that I always think about but then I am like, well, it's just music but when you tie that in with social psychology it really saddens me and I feel like I need to do something about it except what can I really do except protect the one person that this would influence? ok, I know I am not making any sense so I will try to write this short as humanly possible and in a way that will make sense.... Social Psychology says that we are influenced by media, each other, the society we live in. In general we all have the need to feel wanted/loved/needed. Most of us go around trying to get this even if we don't really know consciously that we do and, sometimes some of us (ok me) try to act like I don't want it or need it and I do EVERYTHING wrong when it comes near me because I am scared! BUT! regardless of how much we try to deny it and ourselves of certain things, we still by our own nature seek it and need it and if we get it and it is reciprocated and it's right (a relationship that is) then it is healthy it helps us with our lives it makes us feel good physically it even helps us live longer! YES it's true, studies have been conducted that reveal that people in (HEALTHY) healthy is the key word! HEALTHY relationships do indeed have a better life, are healthier and live longer!
So, I go to this club I am wearing a teeshirt some baggy jeans and some sneakers and I look around me and there is not one woman that is dressed like I am, almost EVERY single girl in there regardless of their body type is dressed like they are video vixens, they are some how half naked trying to get the attention of men, because if they are not in a relationship, they are hoping to meet someone to fulfill their basic human need. I am 41 years old, the rest of the women in the club are all probably in their mid 20's to early 30's and then when hip hop comes on or actually all the music that I am listening to is degrading to woman and it's almost telling all of us females that if we want a man, we need to look a certain way, dress a certain way and shake a certain way in order to get it! and I am not talking about getting it sexually, I am talking about getting love, that which we want and need. So I'm kind of drunk dancing and looking at all these young girls thinking about social psychology WHAT THE HELL!!! but yes, that is what I was doing, I couldn't help but to think, OH MY GOD! MY DAUGHTER!!!!!
So, what do I do? I send my good friend who is a rapper a text message and complain to him and tell him that I don't appreciate that sometimes his lyrics are degrading to women and how I love him very much but he needs to STOP! singing about how women are bitches and hoes and how they should all be treated like sluts! this is what my little girl and all these young girls have been exposed to for years and years and more and more I feel like this is the norm and how it's getting worse and worse and how the media and entertainers are more and more promoting that in order to get that which we want and need (love) we have to look and act a certain way to obtain it. This makes me extremely SAD! because this is not what I want my daughter seeing and growing up thinking and I can't do much about it but try to show her the right way or at least teach her that the right man, will look at you for who you are and not care about what you look like and that is what she should go after. Try to find the one's that genuinely care about her for who she is.
My night ended with me meeting this really cute guy, while I was wearing my baggy jeans and sneakers and had my hair in corn rolls no make up and just being me! I had a great time. I got a number and I didn't have to dress any sort of way, because men in their own nature don't want a woman that goes out looking like she needs to get laid. It is OK to look sexy, but in a tasteful way. I feel so sad that these young girls feel these pressures about how they should dress and look to find love, but what am I supposed to do? how can I make a difference? who do I go to for this??? it's so frustrating! I let my poor friend have it last night bitching to him about the lyrics to his music, but again, even with him it's not his fault, I KNOW HIM WELL and I know that he doesn't believe the things he says or at least with regard to women, I KNOW FOR A FACT! he doesn't treat women like bitches I know that because I briefly dated him years ago and he was a perfect gentleman with me, BUT, because this is "the norm" in the entertainment industry, then I feel like he is just doing what he loves.
He is rhyming and making music because that's what he loves to do. And I am positive, that most men that are entertainers and sing all these songs that are degrading to women, are out there looking for a good girl, but where is there any good girl if what these young women are being exposed to, is to look like a slut in order to get yourself a man? When will it stop though? when will men start singing about how a woman should really be treated? and when will these young girls understand that they don't need to be half naked to get a phone number at a club? (and ok it's halloween and we all do it we all dress slutty on halloween) but I see this even when I go out on regular days. I swear I am always the outcast at the bars, most times, I'm that girl in a sweat suite just chilling! I'M 41! and last night I was in jeans and a tee and still came out with a number! SOOOOOOO.... it CAN HAPPEN LADIES! men will still come after you even when you are looking a hot mess! because WE ALL WANT THE SAME! WE ALL NEED LOVE!
I know I don't make any sense today, but I am just all over the place this morning with how I felt last night and to top it off I am dressing like a bunny tonight! so now I feel like a hypocrite! but it's halloween and I promise I try my best to always dress tasteful! and also, I will try to wear my bunny costume in the least sluttiest way possible if that even makes sense! and I also promise, that I am not wearing the costume to try to get myself a man, I want to wear it because I had it for years now and I finally feel like it will look nice on me and I want to wear my costume but I promise journal, I am wearing it and am going to be with a guy as my date so it's not like I am out wearing it trying to "get it" I am not, I just want to feel sexy and have fun on my favorite holiday.
ps.....My friend just sent me a text message and told me that he promises me that he's new LP will not be degrading to woman! I LOVE HIM! HE IS SO AWESOME! I'm going to go to dinner with him, he's a good guy!
THANK YOU!
Sometimes I honestly don't know what people's problem with me is, or rather, I don't know what is the problem men have with me, but I quite honestly completely give up on people (men) they are crazy and out of control and don't know what they want and when you tell them what you want all of a sudden they get psycho! I CAN'T DEAL! can someone please tell me why I got cursed out and told off a few weeks ago and all I ever am is honest? yes and I quote...."you are nothing but a fake bitch that likes to use people and treat them like shit, you are heartless and fake!" end of quote he walks away and I stand there feeling like I just had a "relationship argument" with someone I had nothing at all with! WHAT THE FUCK!!!! I hate all men effective immediately!
To top that off, last night I went out to this small club and I realized something that I always think about but then I am like, well, it's just music but when you tie that in with social psychology it really saddens me and I feel like I need to do something about it except what can I really do except protect the one person that this would influence? ok, I know I am not making any sense so I will try to write this short as humanly possible and in a way that will make sense.... Social Psychology says that we are influenced by media, each other, the society we live in. In general we all have the need to feel wanted/loved/needed. Most of us go around trying to get this even if we don't really know consciously that we do and, sometimes some of us (ok me) try to act like I don't want it or need it and I do EVERYTHING wrong when it comes near me because I am scared! BUT! regardless of how much we try to deny it and ourselves of certain things, we still by our own nature seek it and need it and if we get it and it is reciprocated and it's right (a relationship that is) then it is healthy it helps us with our lives it makes us feel good physically it even helps us live longer! YES it's true, studies have been conducted that reveal that people in (HEALTHY) healthy is the key word! HEALTHY relationships do indeed have a better life, are healthier and live longer!
So, I go to this club I am wearing a teeshirt some baggy jeans and some sneakers and I look around me and there is not one woman that is dressed like I am, almost EVERY single girl in there regardless of their body type is dressed like they are video vixens, they are some how half naked trying to get the attention of men, because if they are not in a relationship, they are hoping to meet someone to fulfill their basic human need. I am 41 years old, the rest of the women in the club are all probably in their mid 20's to early 30's and then when hip hop comes on or actually all the music that I am listening to is degrading to woman and it's almost telling all of us females that if we want a man, we need to look a certain way, dress a certain way and shake a certain way in order to get it! and I am not talking about getting it sexually, I am talking about getting love, that which we want and need. So I'm kind of drunk dancing and looking at all these young girls thinking about social psychology WHAT THE HELL!!! but yes, that is what I was doing, I couldn't help but to think, OH MY GOD! MY DAUGHTER!!!!!
So, what do I do? I send my good friend who is a rapper a text message and complain to him and tell him that I don't appreciate that sometimes his lyrics are degrading to women and how I love him very much but he needs to STOP! singing about how women are bitches and hoes and how they should all be treated like sluts! this is what my little girl and all these young girls have been exposed to for years and years and more and more I feel like this is the norm and how it's getting worse and worse and how the media and entertainers are more and more promoting that in order to get that which we want and need (love) we have to look and act a certain way to obtain it. This makes me extremely SAD! because this is not what I want my daughter seeing and growing up thinking and I can't do much about it but try to show her the right way or at least teach her that the right man, will look at you for who you are and not care about what you look like and that is what she should go after. Try to find the one's that genuinely care about her for who she is.
My night ended with me meeting this really cute guy, while I was wearing my baggy jeans and sneakers and had my hair in corn rolls no make up and just being me! I had a great time. I got a number and I didn't have to dress any sort of way, because men in their own nature don't want a woman that goes out looking like she needs to get laid. It is OK to look sexy, but in a tasteful way. I feel so sad that these young girls feel these pressures about how they should dress and look to find love, but what am I supposed to do? how can I make a difference? who do I go to for this??? it's so frustrating! I let my poor friend have it last night bitching to him about the lyrics to his music, but again, even with him it's not his fault, I KNOW HIM WELL and I know that he doesn't believe the things he says or at least with regard to women, I KNOW FOR A FACT! he doesn't treat women like bitches I know that because I briefly dated him years ago and he was a perfect gentleman with me, BUT, because this is "the norm" in the entertainment industry, then I feel like he is just doing what he loves.
He is rhyming and making music because that's what he loves to do. And I am positive, that most men that are entertainers and sing all these songs that are degrading to women, are out there looking for a good girl, but where is there any good girl if what these young women are being exposed to, is to look like a slut in order to get yourself a man? When will it stop though? when will men start singing about how a woman should really be treated? and when will these young girls understand that they don't need to be half naked to get a phone number at a club? (and ok it's halloween and we all do it we all dress slutty on halloween) but I see this even when I go out on regular days. I swear I am always the outcast at the bars, most times, I'm that girl in a sweat suite just chilling! I'M 41! and last night I was in jeans and a tee and still came out with a number! SOOOOOOO.... it CAN HAPPEN LADIES! men will still come after you even when you are looking a hot mess! because WE ALL WANT THE SAME! WE ALL NEED LOVE!
I know I don't make any sense today, but I am just all over the place this morning with how I felt last night and to top it off I am dressing like a bunny tonight! so now I feel like a hypocrite! but it's halloween and I promise I try my best to always dress tasteful! and also, I will try to wear my bunny costume in the least sluttiest way possible if that even makes sense! and I also promise, that I am not wearing the costume to try to get myself a man, I want to wear it because I had it for years now and I finally feel like it will look nice on me and I want to wear my costume but I promise journal, I am wearing it and am going to be with a guy as my date so it's not like I am out wearing it trying to "get it" I am not, I just want to feel sexy and have fun on my favorite holiday.
ps.....My friend just sent me a text message and told me that he promises me that he's new LP will not be degrading to woman! I LOVE HIM! HE IS SO AWESOME! I'm going to go to dinner with him, he's a good guy!
THANK YOU!
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